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In the Beginning There Was Just One

 

Bug was conceived on our wedding night almost 10 years ago. I was 26 and never wanted kids. I wanted to be a big powerful rich lawyer. I was beyond shocked to find out I was pregnant from the one and only time I ever had unprotected sex. Just shocked. I was a dedicated smoker and really enjoying the party like atmosphere of my town and job.

 

On the way out the door to a boxing match, something inspired me to take a home pregnancy test. I swear the prego line popped up before I even got the stick from between my legs! All those years spent trying to figure out if I was seeing the prego line or the shadow of a prego line had been wasted time. That line is not hard to see folks!

 

After the intial shock, I started to get excited. Then I started to get obsessed. I was not a good pregnant person. I don’t like things in my body. At all. Even like a fork in my mouth. And I have a massive uncontrollable fear of hospitals. Not a good combo.

 

That’s where Bug got her name, cause I felt like I had a bug inside of me for 9 months. Eventually, the Bug was born via c-section. 5 pounds, 5 ounces, 21 inches long. I can specifically remember feeling proud that out of 3 roommates in the hospital I was the only one with a healthy kid.

 

We got her home and she did not grow. At all. I think it took 3 months for her to get to her birth weight. At first, people blamed her small size on my smoking. I kept explaining to anyone who would listen that I only smoked 4 cigs a day. All the research showed that birth weight was lowered by .7 pounds if you smoked an entire pack a day and that it had no effect on size after birth.

 

She was a tough baby, but this blog is not about her. Suffice it to say, there was very little time to just enjoy her. Finally, we found out she had a recessive genetic disease. Both my Hubby and I contributed to it. It looks like very severe cerebal palsy. Any future child we had would have a 25% chance of also inheriting it.

 

There was no way we could handle more children anyway. We were poor (by our standards) and the Bug took a lot of time and care. Hubby quit his job to become a full time Dad. We decided to wait till she was 5 to have more kids. I longed for a normal child. I longed to experience what my friends were experiencing. As the years went by, I extracted a promise from DH that we WOULD have another kid after the Bug started Kindergarten.

 

When Bug was 3, I started researching international adoption. I had siblings adopted from Vietnam and that seemed like a natural choice. It never even occurred to me that domestic adoption was an option. By the time the Bug entered kindergarten, Vietnam was closed to US families. I waited and waited some more. There was no end in site to the closure.

 

I was also waiting for a reliable way to prenatally test for the Bug’s condition. On a family trip to a convention related to the Bug’s disease, we decided to throw caution to the wind and conceive a child the old fashioned way. We tried for about a year with no success.

 

Vietnam was still closed to US families. We wanted a baby as young as possible and as healthy as possible. We didn’t care where that child came from. We had no race issues. As the months with no pregnancy went by, we (meaning I) continued to examine the options. Finally, we decided on Guatemala.

 

I researched the heck out of it. Found the best agency, started the DHS process to get pre-approval. Contacted a homestudy agency and filled out all the paperwork including the long questionaire that requires you to tell your life story. Found an agency and filled out all their paperwork which basically mirrored the homestudy stuff but not enough that you could just cut and paste. Put the big checks in the envelopes and were ready to mail them. . .

 

But my period was late. Took a pregnancy test. Played the “is that a line or a shadow of a line” game, decided I could not tell. This went on for a good two weeks and cost me a ton of money in those expensive home pregnancy tests. By now my period was almost a month late. Finally, I decided something must be wrong with me. I went out and bought a cheapy pregnancy test. The 3 dollar ones that pretty much claim they or may not work. Peed on the stick. BAM I was pregnant. No doubt. The checks came out of the envelopes. And I took up permanent residence in the bathroom. I was ecstatic!

 

QueenJ

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