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My Journey through Adoption Part 2

three boysI will start at the beginning. It is a long story filled with ups and downs the whole way through.

I am the bio mom to 3 wonderful boys. Two, from a previous marriage, are grown now. At the time of my beginning they were 17 and 21. My 3rd son, by second marriage, was 7.

We realized almost immediately after 3rd son that we had secondary infertility issues. The doctors said he was a miracle. We never should have concieved. As a matter of fact, I was at the OB to tell her I was pregnant with him and she (the OB) began to tell me how sorry she was that we would never concieve.

As the years went on, we really wanted another child. I became obsessed with getting pregnant again. No one understood this, after all I had 3 kids, so I kept it all inside. Only DH knew of my struggles. In 2000 we decided to look into adoption. I knew he would be a wonderful dad to a non-bio child. He had taken my older sons into his heart and loved them as his own. We went to an adoption attorney in my area and signed with him that very night. We were approved in a few weeks for a domestic adoption. I got an 800 number and placed ads in newspapers across the country. He told us at the time that statistics show if you spend $3000 you have a 90% chance of a positive match. So, I spent $4000 that first time. No match. It was exhausting to continue to advertise and wait.

callCalls came. Nothing more. No one chose us. Maybe because of our age. Maybe because of our older kids. I will never know for sure. One person answered the ad once who was a nun working with rape victims. She said she sometimes has women who want to place their child resulting from the rape. I said to please keep my number just in case. I sent her the “dear birthmother” letter. I never heard from her again. (but she enters my life again in the future) This continued for 2 years. I was desparate. Depressed was an understatement. Still, I kept in all inside. Friends would ask WHY? They didnt get it. But maybe God was trying to tell me it was not meant to be. Then I got the call. She was due any day. She said the doctors told her it was a girl, and was a very big baby. I asked her to call my atty, that was the procedure…first step for potential birthmomther…call my atty. But she did not. She called back a week later and said she had the baby, I needed to come get her. I begged her to call my atty. She did not. She called back and said she was being discharged and was leaving my baby in the hospital! I lost it and pleaded with her to call my atty. At that point, she laughed and hung up the phone. A check by my atty at the hospital revealed no such person and no such baby there.

cryingIt was all a hoax.

I was devastated. My dreams of being a mommy again were over. It had been 2 years of hope. Two years of waiting. I was so sad. It was not right. Our savings was gone.

It was then that I had a dream that chaned my life forever! to be continued…soon I promise!


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  1. bugaboo22
    Posted January 31, 2007 at 6:33 pm | Permalink

    Can’t wait to hear more!

  2. Posted January 31, 2007 at 7:49 pm | Permalink

    Oh my gosh you poor thing about that scam. Why would someone do that? That is what i call an emotional vampire. What would someone like that possibly have to gain?

    I’m sorry that happened to you.

    thanks for sharing. I can’t wait to hear about the dream.

  3. llexuus
    Posted January 31, 2007 at 10:15 pm | Permalink

    I will NEVER understand how people can do that to other people. That behavior is sick and twisted, and I am sorry that you had to live through that experience. I can’t wait to hear about the dream.

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