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Balance Babblings

Well, I heard from Jenuine. And thankfully she’s okay. I’m so relieved. But that leads me to the subject of balance. Balance is hard to strike in most parts of life…in open adoptions, it seems doubly hard. Do you ever wonder if you’re doing enough in your open adoption relationship? Or too much?

Lately, I’ve been wondering what else I could do to help Jenuine out. Not financially, per se, but in other ways. Am I sending enough pics? Enough videos? I know we don’t talk on the phone as much as we used to…funny schedules get the blame there, but I know we all could work harder on that. Are my updates detailed enough? Did I describe Babygirl’s expression or phrase or action just right? I sometimes wish she could be there for every moment. I say sometimes because I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with her here all the time. Call it insecurity if you like, but I wouldn’t want most folks here 24/7. Know what I mean?

TheMan thinks that I over think this at times. And he’s right. But I’d rather worry about it too much than not enough. I don’t believe that Jenuine would tell me if she wasn’t getting enough from us, for fear of making us upset with her, or even hurting our feelings. Maybe one day will come that she feels more comfortable letting us know.

What have you done to open communication up in your OA??

–Mama in an open adoption



  1. Posted March 12, 2007 at 3:07 pm | Permalink

    Ask her. You can get all the advice in the world from varied situations and points of view. Until you ask her if the pictures are enough or if you could say something more/less in an update, you’re not going to know. The key to any good relationship is open and honest communication. Simply ask.

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